“If you only had enough willpower, you’d be healthier.”

Now there’s a myth I grew up with that persists today. It’s bullshit. Look it up. Willpower is a limited resource we waste on things like trying not to eat the giant piece of chocolate cake in front of us, getting to the gym when we’re tired, or forcing ourselves to meditate because we know it’s good for us.

We suck at taking care of our Vitality, the energy our body and soul need, when we rely on willpower.

Fill in the blank here: I would feel much better in my body if I only ________ more often.

If there’s a list in that blank, that’s another problem. Lists of stuff you think you need to do kill willpower.

My proposal to you is this: Pick one thing that really matters for your health that you suck at and solve it without relying on willpower.

Eliminate willpower completely.

Remember—to stop sucking, you don’t need to be great at it; you just need to become barely good enough.

This is going to take some problem solving and experimentation, but don’t be tempted to require willpower. Use your willpower to avoid using willpower!

First, make sure you craft your goal so it’s specific, measurable so you can finish it, and small enough to achieve for sure.

For example:
“Reduce stress” is not specific. “Try out one new sleep habit” is specific.
“Meditate every day” is not achievable. “Meditate 10 times this month” is achievable.

If you want help with your goal, send it to me. I’ll check it and let you know how you might make it more specific, more measurable, and more achievable.

Now, eliminate willpower from the equation. In other words, preload the decision so when the time comes to do it, you don’t have to decide anything and use willpower. For example making the decision not to eat the giant piece of chocolate cake sitting in front of you can drain your willpower for the rest of the day. (Believe me, I know this one.) If the dessert isn’t in front of you, you don’t have to make that decision.

This is where you need to do some problem solving and when the next small step might not be intuitive. If you want to meditate more, the next small step isn’t to meditate. The next small step is to figure out how to remove the decision to meditate. Sometimes this is called a trigger. The next step is to set up your trigger. Here are some examples of triggers:

Schedule a friend to come to your house and walk with you to meditation class. That way the decision is already made.

Schedule an appointment with a sleep specialist. That way you’ll show up and take a step toward learning at least one new sleep habit.

Buy healthy snacks to put in your drawer at work so your blood sugar doesn’t plunge. (I used to turn into a prick when I skipped lunch. That really sucked.)

These are first small steps toward not sucking, and you’ll be more successful if they don’t require willpower.

The key to bigger goals that don’t require willpower is changing the context to one where people expect you to behave differently. I’ll leave you to mull that over.