Is there something that really matters that you suck at?

Love is the energy we give to help other people, especially people we care about it, and most of us suck at some aspect of it. Conflict especially makes it hard to lean in with love. It’s so tempting to stay angry and righteous. Here’s a story about taking a small step toward love that made a big difference.

When she thought about him, which wasn’t often, she’d wince from embarrassment. She hadn’t talked to him in years, but the old little insults between them and the missing apologies felt fresh. That’s what she told me. It was clear she longed to reconnect with her brother, but she wasn’t sure how.

Her story might be a little like yours.

Is there a relationship in your life that needs some attention? Maybe like her, you long to reconnect to someone important who’s faded from your daily life.

In the process of managing daily tasks and fighting the constant distractions of social media, crappy news, and piled up email, important relationships often take a back seat.

It’s especially hard when you don’t know what to do.

And it might not feel like it’s worth the energy.

But it is.

Because love does give back, sometimes immediately. Plus, the great thing about love is that trying is most of the work. Besides, what if it was simpler than you think it is? What if a small gesture had the possibility of opening a door? And what if through that door is a new connection with someone you care about.

If you try, you might fail, sure, but you might not. One small step in the right direction can make a big difference.

Love comes in many forms and most of them are small.

I asked her what she wanted, realistically, what’s actually possible with her brother.

“It’s been so long, really. I don’t need to be the great friends we were. I just want to know him a little better. I want to move out of this rotten feeling. I want him to know I care.”

That sounds realistic. It sounds real.

“What is the very next thing you could do, the smallest step in that direction?”

“Well. I could just tell him.”

“How?”

“I’ll call him and tell him.”

“Tell him what?”

“I’ll call him and tell him—I’ll say, ‘I’d like to get to know you a little better.’”

And she did.

So, I ask you, dear reader: Is there an important relationship in your life that needs a little love?

Think about the next small step you could take.

Then take it.

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In the next article we’ll look at another very big area where most of us suck, and another success story in which a small step went a long way.