I hope you’re wondering what’s up with that mini-course I’m designing for you. I’m almost finished. It’s just the last parts are taking longer than expected. Last week I started to feel overwhelmed by how much work I still need to do. The Demon of Resistance whispered in my ear, “Why are you doing this, anyway?” I bet you know what that feels like.
I met a man last week who was feeling overwhelmed, too, and at the end of a 50-minute conversation, we both felt calmer, more collected, and clearer about what to do next.
How? We both went small.
It was my first coaching call with Nikola. A father of a small child with another coming next month, he had just entered a full-time job and was trying to hold onto his partnership with a company he and his friends started. He didn’t know how to manage all his responsibilities and was suffering insomnia.
As a coach, empathy gets in my way sometimes. I start to feel what my client is feeling, in this case fatigue and anxiety. Anxiety triggers the idea that big changes need to happen. For Nikola anxiety was pulling us toward big “if only I” solutions. Life would get better …
if only I were better at time management.
if only I worked more efficiently.
if only I had more energy.
if only I quit my partnership.
My experience helped me remember to ignore the voice of anxiety and, instead, to go small and look for clues in the details. After more investigation we discovered that most of Nikola’s anxiety came from changes in his partnership with his friends. We zeroed in on details of a conversation he needs to have with them and worked out what parts of the relationship he wants to keep, what parts to let go, how to adjust the business model, and what he will do to help make the transition.
We found a small, important, specific next step for Nikola to take. The structure and details of the next step relieved the anxiety and gave him a handle on a difficult change to a meaningful relationship. He felt better.
I felt better, too. I remembered why I’m doing this work. Personal interactions around the important details of our lives keep us connected to each other and to meaning. Progress, and sometimes revelation, come inside the details of small steps.
I know my next steps, too. I’m putting this stuff into the mini-course. I’m pretty sure you’ll find it quite useful, and it’s almost ready for you. Almost.
Sign up to be first in line when it is.