Pilot Fire
  • Start Here
  • Tools
  • Fuel
  • Steering Instructions
  • +
  • Roles
  • Goals
  • Plans
  • +
  • Balance
  • Passion
  • Flow
  • Yay, I Failed!
  • About
  • Contact
Pilot Fire

Pilot Fire

Tools, Fuel, & Steering Instructions
to Make a Life You Believe In

Start Here
  • Start Here
  • Tools
  • Fuel
  • Steering Instructions
  • +
  • Roles
  • Goals
  • Plans
  • +
  • Balance
  • Passion
  • Flow
  • Yay, I Failed!
  • About
  • Contact
Balance

When Gratitude Ruins Apology and the Other Way, Too

Apology and Gratitude

Premise

Here’s what I think: Most of us apologize at the wrong occasions.

“Sorry I had to change our meeting.”

“I’m sorry you have to wait.“

“My computer keeps crashing. I’m sorry.”

It drives me nuts! We coat any comfortable situation with “I’m sorry” like a silicon spray that’s supposed to remove friction. Apology needs power if it’s going to work. Trotting out the words “I’m sorry” every day stretches their meaning. It wears them out. Don’t ruin Apology with a convenient habit.

Instead, summon up a little Gratitude. Gratitude can provide a much needed shift of energy when you need someone to cut you slack.

Didactica

Someone taught me something very simple I like to share.

Try changing “I’m sorry”
to “Thank you.”

The above scenarios would sound like this:

“Thank you for your flexibility with the schedule.”

‘Thank you for your patience.”

“Thank you for understanding that computers mostly suck.”

Serial apologists have an autopilot problem, a habit that needs disrupting. How about letting the words “I’m sorry,” become a trigger. Every time you hear yourself say them pause and reflect: is Gratitude available for this occasion? Probably so. Try it out. See how it goes. Reference examples above.

Epilogue

Some folks say Gratitude as a regular practice makes you happier.† I can buy that, and I’ll suggest that when Apology is given it’s true power, the whole world heals a little. It takes guts to be vulnerable and own up to the shit you shat on someone and face the consequences of their pain. It’s true Love baby— Apology that is— when it’s real.


† Dr. Emmons, Professor at UC Davis studies the psychology of gratitude and the psychology of personal goals, and how each is related to positive psychological processes, including happiness, well-being, and personality integration.


Get your Starter Kit

Put Wings on Your Desires

Get immediate access to five of my best guides:

  • Put Wings on your Desires: How to Find the Small Steps that Make Your Big Dreams Real
  • A Simple System for Everything
  • Plan a Great Week in 20 Minutes
  • Plan a Great Day in 2 Minutes
  • The Printable Pocket Planner
  • + inspiring articles and practical tools delivered right to your inbox.

    No SPAM. No sharing. Your email stays private.

    Share This Page

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Google Plus
    • Email This Post Email

    Ask Me

    I'd love to hear from you. Ask me any question, and I'll do my best to give you a useful answer. Ask

    Sign up for inspiring updates and receive some of our best guides FOR FREE

    Learn More
    We never share email.
    It's easy to unsubscribe.

    Pilot Fire is the energy you put into steering your life.

    More Fuel

    • Day's Plan
      Plan a Great Day in 2 Minutes
    • Week's Plan
      Plan a Great Week in 20 Minutes
    • "Do What You Love," Bullshit Advice for Financial Success
    • The Power and Problem with Yes
    • Lance Armstrong: Why I Cheated
    • Roles
      A Simple System for Everything
    All content © 2023 Pilot Fire. All rights reserved. Ask instead of stealing, please.