Balance

When people ask me what I do, and I tell them I teach a course called Designing a Balanced Life, longing invariably smears across their faces. “I need that,” is often the response. But then, when asked to conjure an image of balance, they think of a scale or a stack of rocks. I don’t believe we are seeking a static state of equilibrium these images represent, or eternal peace, or even a life without conflict.

Then, what is it we seek when we yearn for balance? Or maybe a better question is this:

If it’s true, in an ever changing world we will never achieve balance, why even try?

How to Stay Focused on What’s Best During the Holidays

We all know the holidays are meant for celebration, sharing love and time together, and showing others that we care, but Holy Toledo, it’s not always easy to stay focused on what’s best. That’s why I’m holding my first FREE webinar, called: How to Stay Focused on What’s Best During the Holidays It’s next Tuesday morning.

read on ...

When Gratitude Ruins Apology and the Other Way, Too

Premise Here’s what I think: Most of us apologize at the wrong occasions. “Sorry I had to change our meeting.” “I’m sorry you have to wait.“ “My computer keeps crashing. I’m sorry.” It drives me nuts! We coat any comfortable situation with “I’m sorry” like a silicon spray that’s supposed to remove friction. Apology needs power

read on ...

We Love a Good Race, so Why Not Make the Race Matter?

The prominent poll aggregators had been predicting Obama’s victory Tuesday night for a while,† but if we completely believed them, fewer of us would have been motivated to vote, and the evening’s television wouldn’t have been nearly as thrilling. We love a close race much more than a trouncing. As a San Franciscan I didn’t bump

read on ...

Circadia: The Most Important Skill for Planning a Great Day

If I don’t eat a good lunch, then by late afternoon I’m going to be a prick. I’ll be impatient and curt; it’s a low blood sugar thing. If I don’t sleep well one night, I’m actually pretty good the next day, but the entire following day I’m going to be stupid. My mental energy surges around 10

read on ...

Getting Relief from the Day’s Anxiety

Anxiety wields a proper noun like a hurricane or an ill-favored in-law. This morning It showed up because I hadn’t finished writing an article to post today. I had reviewed a bunch of drafts and started a really good one, but none were ready for your attention. I made a commitment to get two into

read on ...

The Power and Problem with Yes

Much advice suggests that, if you want a life of abundance, always say ‘yes.’ Be open to all opportunities. Engage fully with the world through ‘yes.’ As the advice goes, ‘no’ will create the opposite in your life— scarcity. I do believe that yes is a powerful and useful response in most situations. Of course,

read on ...

Reconciling Lao Tzu, Ego, and the Autopilot

My t’ai chi teacher, Martin Inn, used to describe a teacher of his who claimed to have no attachments to the past or the future. He seemed to embody the Taoist roots of t’ai chi, removing all intention, all ego, all attachment to outcome and previous experience so that all of his attention was focused

read on ...

Get Lost in New York City, or Just Get Lost

My first day in Brooklyn I tote my iPhone from block to block consulting it for restaurant recommendations, checking the routes to the cafe where I plan to start writing this article, and then mapping out the gigs I’ll be playing with my choir. I traverse Bedford Ave several times, tuning my evening’s plans by

read on ...

The Role That Feeds All Others: The Stoker

In the story The Little Engine That Could, children are taught that obstacles can be overcome with willpower, optimism, and hard work. As the plot goes, when larger engines refuse to carry a long train to its destination, The Little Engine volunteers and (spoiler) through sheer determination and an onomatopoetic chant gets the job done. What isn’t mentioned is that

read on ...

How Can Divorce Go Well?

It may sound odd, but one of the most successful things I’ve ever done is get divorced. Actually, getting divorced wasn’t the big success; what I’m proud of is how four people shared a common goal of creating a new kind of family. That went really well. Soon after my daughter was born in 1997,

read on ...