I actually did it! I purposefully threw my life off balance and attempted to make a giant change. I wanted a remarkable life, I made a plan to do it, and I followed it— the plan to Stop Sucking and Kick Ass. (Video below.)
You know people who say things like, “If only I had enough time, I could write my book. If only I was understood, people would finally appreciate me. If only I had the right job, I’d be happy. If only I, ifonlyI, ifonlyI …” Most of these are falsifiable hypotheses, but they don’t test them. They don’t actually make the time to write, work at being fully understood, or look for a better job.
(I bet you have a few yourself.)
The big question I answered is this:
What do you learn when you actually do the thing you tell yourself will make all the difference?
This is clearly the most difficult article I’ve written. I’ve spent many hours trying to assess the past year, and while this is hardly comprehensive (you’re welcome), it’s the result of an enormous amount of reflection and analysis. There are gems here. I hope you find them.
At the request of many, I continue the tradition of lo-fi, uncomfortably self-revealing video tours of my weird brain. Then, there’s a song I sing at the end. No kidding.
And I ask you for your feedback. I need to know: Is there something here for you? Please tell me.
This presentation comes in 5 parts of a 24-minute video. Here’s a guide.
0:00 – Intrigue. Why I screw up my life?
4:26 – Drama. Witness though the magic of childlike drawrings the valiance of an archery contest, the agony in a battle pitting money against denial, and finally triumph through surprising circumstances. Is it death or enlightenment lurking in the murky shadows? Maybe it’s both.
13:01 – The Goods. What worked. Did I accomplish what I set out to do?
14:34 – The 7 Surprising Answers: Did David Delp Kick Ass?
19:10 – David Delp Sings a Song.
More notes lie below, hardly complete without watching. As they say in Italy, gwardy!
The Story.
Here it is in one picture.
The Goods: What Worked.
Role: Finisher.
Goal: Complete 10 valuable attention management tools.
Mostly I did this. They aren’t all ready for primetime. Most of them are well-tested. I need a few more months to package all of them up. What isn’t linked below, you will see soon enough!
- The famous Attentionometer refactored for production at the San Francisco facility.
- SMART & SEXY Goals Checklist
- Pilot Fire Starter Kit (updated, offered on every page)
- Kick Start Your Dreams class (4 super helpful worksheets)
- A new social network called The Pilots of Pilot Fire (+ 3 more tools)
Role: Connector.
Goal: Get to 10,000 readers.
I found out pretty quickly that was a stupidly unrealistic goal. Instead, I increased readership by 430%. Creating the Pilot Fire Starter kit made a big difference. I’m getting more and more feedback from it every week. Writing for other blogs is a huge help in spreading the fire, as is giving talks and going to conferences. I’ll be doing more of that for sure.
Role: Singer.
Goal: Sing through my bridge with ease.
I don’t sing through my bridge with ease, yet, but I have to say that pursuing this goal has revealed more about life, liberty, and fear than I can say in a few sentences. I think the video explains it a little better.
Role: Stoker.
Goal: Exercise everyday.
The point was to make sure I moved vigorously regularly to keep my Vitality burning bright. Energizing is the E and key to SMART & SEXY goals, and exercise is the fastest way to get motivated. I ran into lots of problems though. I got injured. I can’t run any more. Most of what I learned is personal. Glutten and dairy aren’t a big problem for me. Sleep loss is.
Stop Sucking. I got our new house completely and new bank accounts and finances in order, and completed an inspiringly easy divorce. I learned how to edit videos and customize WordPress, and I quit getting so many parking tickets. Plus I learned how to make some super tasty, healthy bachelor meals I can make in my underwear and eat over the sink. I almost completely don’t suck at anything that really matters.
Stop Sweating. I didn’t sweat most of other the roles I play. I just showed up without much of a plan and for the most part everything went fine— except with the winter thaw when the Breadwinner had to come out of hibernation That included a fair amount of sweating.
Stop chasing girls. Yup. Didn’t. That’s amazing.
Stop TV, movies, porn. Another ridiculous goal, but I’ve written about reasons for rigid rules. This one left me with only YouTube and the Daily Show. When my shadow roles took over, I plunged into the dark world of pickpocket demonstrations which lead to magicians and then debunkers, atheists, death, and finally mindfulness. It turned out to be a profound experience to follow this path.
The surprising 7 answers:
Did David Delp kick ass?
(There’s magic that happens to writing in the second person, even if I reveal the trick. What follows are some lessons I learned. If I frame them as lessons you can learn, you’re more likely to find them valuable. Tricky.)
I list them here in poster-ready form. Feel free to spread these around as quotes attached to images of Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Jackie Chan.
- Only true commitment, the reality of making a solid decision, will reveal what’s most important to you.
- What’s more telling than connecting to your dreams, is discovering what you will regret.
- Your own Vitality is by far the most important factor to managing your attention.
- Marketing works. Do it.
- Singing is a microscopic map to deep fear and liberation. Everyone would do better to unlock their voices.
- Shadow roles actually shine the light on us, not the other way.
- Death is real. Death is awesome. Life is short. Just Breathe.
Now imagine Gandhi with the quote, “Marketing works. Do it.”
If I didn’t answer your questions in this presentation. I’ll answer them below in the comments. Fire away.
David! Congrats on the big traffic increase!
Nice guitar work there. Is that the same picking pattern as Dust In the Wind (Travis picking)? Enjoyed the rest of the vid too! Hope you have a Jolly one!
Hi CJ. Thanks.
Well, Travis picking includes a wide variety of techniques, but yes, same as Dust in the Wind, Helplessly Hoping, maybe The Boxer.
I admire your courage in sharing all of this, and it’s been a wild ride watching your wild ride from afar. Good lessons for a good journey. And thank you so much for the song. Amen. A good egg.
Oh, thank you Catherine. The wild ride continues, but I’m going to loosen up the reigns a bit.
Wow, David, this is vulnerable and beautiful. And I think it’s a great illustration of how to really do Goals well… not, “Oh, I didn’t hit the number, I failed,” but “Here’s life. Here’s what matters. Here’s how I handled it.” I think you absolutely kicked ass.
And I must add, I love that “Marketing works. Do It.” is the final Gandhi take away…
First off, David, you make amazing videos. I feel like I just watched a documentary, complete with a great song at the end, like where you’d expect the credits. You are so…engaging, honest, easy to watch.
Thank you for putting so much time and energy into this. Honestly, I’m still digesting everything you shared. (And fascinated by your ability to get all of that into one drawing!) And those, I think, are the best kinds of lessons — the ones that keep bouncing around in our heads, working themselves out long after you close the browser window (page, PDF, whatever).
He draws better digitally than physically, don’t you think, Erin?
David: 430% growth is no joke, buddy. I’m familiar with setting unrealistic goals (100,000 people doing the Continuous Creation Challenge by the end of 2014, anyone?), but they can really push you in unexpected ways. And when you set the bar so freakin’ high you can’t see it anymore, sometimes you still find ways to rock the hell out of your goal.
The words from your *awesome* video that stick with me more than any others are these: “I don’t want a balanced life. I want a remarkable life.” I feel exactly the same way, but I haven’t been able to express it as concisely as you did. I assume I have permission to steal your words and put them next to a picture of me, MLK Jr., Ghandi, JFK, and Confucius talking about profound things.
You won’t say you kicked ass, but I say you kicked ass. Please… keep kickin’!
Thank you so much Sarah and Erin and Joel. Wow. I’m glad I did this, just to hear you say that— read you write that, I mean.
I’m so so tempted to make the graphic with Gandhi’s marketing advice. So, so tempted.
Thanks for sharing this, David. I think that the entire effort is even more inspiring because all of the goals don’t neatly wrap up by the exact deadline. Too many people wait until everything is nice and neat before letting anyone see, which gives people a false impression of the struggle and the effort required to create anything worthwhile.
I’m humbled and challenged, man. Thank you.
David, just finally watched your video. (Time management, meh.) I’m grateful for what you have/are sharing during this year and it’s about time I said so. I so appreciate your combination of depth and pragmatism — offered with amazing honesty, humor and kindness. Thank you. Please keep going!